A typical holiday scene is invariably presented as a time of happiness, celebration, and togetherness. We see images of families around the table, of friends giving each other presents, and of people just enjoying the time with those they love. It doesn't quite feel like that for everyone, though.
For some, it's a tough time of year with stress, grief, loneliness, and all sorts of unpleasant memories. Financial pressures, family issues, disruption to routine and worries around mental health and substance use can all make the season particularly difficult.
If the holidays feel a bit much, remember you're not the only one feeling this way, and you don't have to pretend everything's OK. Here are a few things to consider as we move into November.
It's OK to Have Mixed Feelings
You can have your head in the holiday season and still have your heart in your mouth about other aspects of it. You may look forward to seeing family yet feel anxious about some of your relationships. You may miss someone who's no longer there or feel quite sad about how the traditions have changed. You may also feel pressure to spend money, go to events, and do things that are expected of you but don't fit with your life right now.
These feelings are very real, and they need to be acknowledged. There is no “right” way to feel over the holidays; the first step is to let yourself feel them.
Small Ways to Care for Yourself
When life is overwhelming, the answer is often to just slow down and focus on what you actually need. Consider a few simple ways to protect your emotional well-being:
Set realistic expectations. You don't have to attend every event, buy every present, or keep every tradition. It's perfectly fine to strip it back.
Make time for yourself. Go for a walk, have a quiet moment, do something you find relaxing.
Stay connected. Get in touch with a friend, a family member, or someone you know and trust. Just a short chat can make a big difference in terms of making you feel less isolated.
Create healthy boundaries. If certain situations or relationships are difficult, think about what you need to feel safe and comfortable.
Ask for help. If stress, sadness, anxiety, or substance use are having an impact on your day-to-day life, then speaking to a mental health professional or a support group can be of real benefit. Remember, you don't have to wait until it's absolutely intolerable to ask for help.
You Don't Have to Go Through It Alone
Sometimes the most useful thing we can do is simply let someone know we're struggling. That could be as simple as phoning a mate, talking to a family member, joining a support group or contacting a professional.
If someone you care about is appearing withdrawn, overwhelmed, or just plain different, check in. A simple question like "How are you really doing?" can go a long way toward starting a conversation. Listen without judgment and let them know you're there for them.
If you or someone you know is in a mental health or substance use crisis, help is available. You can call or text 988 for free, confidential support any time of day or night.
Make Room for What You Need
The holidays don't have to be perfect in order to be meaningful. It's perfectly alright to change plans, to start new traditions, to take a break or to ask for help at any point.
As the season draws near, think about this: who can you actually go to when life gets really tough? You're entitled to support, connection, and care throughout the holidays and all year round.
You don’t have to do this alone — support is available, and it’s okay to use it. Learn more about our services or reach out for support by exploring our website, ElevateYou.org, or by calling 262-677-2216.
